Love will tear us apart again.

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Who Needs The Ozone Layer?

What's the use of reducing air polution, when the ozone layer is going to hell anyway - sooner or later?
It is quite like stuffing a mortally ill person full of medicine just for them to die anyway.
So, what we should do is polute the air more and when the ozone layer is destroyed, we'll have an artificial atmosphere of thick grey smog that will protect us from the dangerous rays of the sun.
Well I suppose it would protect us from any sun whatsoever.
But nonetheless there would of course still be some disadvantages.
I imagine the quality of travelling with airplanes to drop to some extent.
Either the airplanes would have to fly very low and therefore occasionally collide with Skyscrapers or NBA-players or they would have to fly outside of our self-made atmosphere, which - if it is even possible - wouldn't promise a very pretty view, unless of course you totally dig brownish, dirty clouds.
Another drawback would be that such an atmosphere as our air pollution creates it doesn't contain enough oxygen for us to breathe in and we would all eventually die.
But you know... you can't have everything.
3.6.06 09:55


Love, Darling?

No.

Sting me with a needle.
It won't draw any blood.
I'm empty.
5.6.06 00:22


Out Of It Today

I let the words from their mouths and fingers flow upon me like water, without ever touching them.
I listen, I notice, but I don't really care.
Don't ask for pity or guilt, I'm wrapped up in relieving apathy.
It is so tiring to be interested.

//go away kid, you bother me.
21.6.06 13:13


Lost Soul Mind Mess

My subconscious is filtering out all the trash that it has collected over the years. Filtering out, sweating it out over night. It's like a fever that leaves me dizzy and disoriented.
In my dreams I meet everyone that has ever had an impact on my life. They rush past me in a swirl of images that makes me physically sick and exhausted and I am off suddenly buying bread with Nicola Klambt and the next moment my brother is standing in the door and I turn to run to find there is no other exit and then this scene fades away to be replaced by even more disconnected images and faces.
Smiling, laughing, loving, hating, disappearing.
Oh they made such a mess, but it's all gonna leak out, leak out of the holes my dreams create. 12 hours or more of running through a fun-house with another demonic aquaintance at every turn and once it's over, it's all gonna be cleaned out.
Washed out and re-furnished.

And I want to fall in love again.
25.6.06 23:43


Sleepless Nights Are F*cking Beautiful

At 4:30am, my favourite time of the day, I put on my oldest pair of Converse shoes, picked up my house key and got out into the foggy morning.
The walkway up to our house was covered with petals that the storms of the other day had shaken off the trees, the air smelled like rain and beauty and the streets were as empty as if the whole world had been deserted.
I sat down in the middle of the street, holding on to that beautiful feeling that my entire surroundings belong to me and to me only.
My feet quite naturally took me through the field and to the tunnel over the traintracks which is the one place upon earth that is closest to my personal idea of heaven.
A year ago they called the police on me, because it is not allowed to sit there and so they robbed me of my paradise, but who is gonna mind so early in the day, whether I am lying there on the cold concrete or not?
It is an odd thing with the concrete and the view.
When I'm there and feel the stonework pressing against my body and my face I don't need anyone to hold me anymore.
I am content and satisfied with looking at the train tracks and feeling the occasional rumbling of a cargo train passing through underneath me.
There is no such thing as emptiness at this place.
Occasionally I hear the distant cries of roosters inbetween the constant chirping of the birds and just before the church bells announce that it is finally 5 o' clock the first passenger train rushes by. Through the illuminated windows I can see that a few early travellers already appear between all those empty seats.
As I ascend the hill that leads away from the tunnel I come across a few dozen rabbits and for a short while I just stare at them in amazement since they have never before dared to come so close to me, but once I raise my hand to get my hair out of my face they disappear.
It must be past 5:30 now and the sun has already risen, even though it is not at all visible through the thick fog of another rainy summer day. I dance through the air while tiny drops of water that are hovering in it hit my skin and add up to all this magic around me.
I climb the trees and while I balance my weight perfectly on a number of boughs of which none could carry my entire weight I am not afraid in the least because I know exactly what I'm doing.
I have always been a tomboy.
It is so unlike being stuck in awkward smalltalk situations where I never know whether I'm too nice or not nice enough or trying to hard or not trying enough.
In this case, on the slippery, partially rotten boughs I know instinctively exactly where to place my next step.
And I close my eyes and laugh because nobody is around to disapprove of me.
27.6.06 08:02


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